Indian movie industry has come up with some real gems. By this I mean flicks with great storylines, catchy songs and some really quirky horror movies. But, like everyone else, they have their hits and misses. Like action sequences. In a number of movies, the director and fight choreographer appear to throw logic to the winds and say, 'What the heck, let's just mixit all together!'. Consider these few examples.
The Village Fight
This is one of those wtf moments from a Tamil movie. I am not sure about the name of the movie or the folks in it … I just know this – if the rest of the movie is as cheesy as this one action scene, count me in for watching the full movie. Here you have a man with a mighty moustache walking confidently towards some bad guys. Imagine hectic music in the background, possibly some trumpet solos. Now a group of mean-looking, machete-wielding guys confront him. And what do you know – with one kick he sends them somersaulting in various directions. I just love the way one guy bounced up and hit a lamppost!
You know what I would like to know? If the big bosses were standing far, witnessing this carnage-not looking very stunned, come to think of it-why don't they make a run for it? If this is how he dishes justice to minions, heck, I wouldn't want to be the finishing act for his fancy moves. Then again, maybe one of them had a gun?
As you get to the end of the clip, you can understand why he opted for the confident strut … man's got a frumpy run; oh dear, say bye bye to your street cred!
Bar Fight
Okay, why is everyone wearing kimonos? And are they made of silk? What club is this again? I am guessing that the main guy, the hero, was kidnapped and brought here for some nefarious purpose. Now be patient with the actor, he is just getting his bearings. You can see this from the way he does the sideways turns every time he attempts a sideways jump-kick. And then he really gets into form; somersaults, hovers the purple-kimono man and proceeds to slap him. You heard me, it was a wimpy slap, the type best delivered by glove-wearing women from historical romance novels. You can tell just how disturbing it was; the big baddie with twirly mustache, the one watching from the sidelines also grimaces in disgust at that moment.
Alright, so he defeated him. What next? Is he going to fight the twirly mustache man? Wait … why the music, what's going on? Why is he dancing? You mean this was what he was doing in the club before the fight? Oh my, no wonder someone tried to stop him!
Hanging Man
This is a short clip compared to the rest. However it is definitely worth your while. The first few seconds show a guy – assuming he is the hero – kicking some random guy into the air and slamming him into an overhead light. It might have been at a boxing ring, it might have been at the circus, you really couldn't tell. Then, the clip cuts to this bizarre scene where the hero is surrounded by a whole bunch of neatly dressed men. Oh and did I mention they are trying to lasso that guy? If you thought that was weird, wait a few seconds. Is that a man hanging from the ceiling, looking trussed up like a turkey?
Biker Fight
Of course such a collection of fight scenes would not be complete without featuring Rajnikanth, the king of corny fights! So there he is, riding into the village square on his nifty looking motorcycle. Does he fit the rough tough biker look? Let's see: Scarf around neck? Check! Smoking a cigarette while striking cheesy pose? Check! Sleeveless shirt? Check! Fake license plate to deceive corrupt cops? Check! Tassels on bike handlebar? Wait ... what?
Well, it'll get better once he starts bashing up the baddies. Then again, maybe not! That's when he resembles an extra from a Wham music video. To his credit, you got to love how he bounces back after each fistfight and poses next to his bike. Wait for the bit where he kicks a heavy sack or something or the other at one minion. I love how it looks like the sack is flopping over sadly in that one shot and then cuts to it whooshing through the air like a flying squirrel in the next shot.