U.S. and England Tie, 1-1, in World Cup Opener. The United States team pulled off an upset draw. England, with its team stacked with English Premier League players, and our team looking like a bunch of gifted amateurs, was so overconfident going into the match that they didn't even think the US team would be a good warm-up for serious competition. In England, peeved at America's well founded anger at British Petroleum, and over the President vocalizing his frustration, by wondering who at British Petroleum ass could he kick, several British commentators mentioned that in the World Cup opening match, it would be America getting her ass kicked. Well, it wasn't our ass that left the field dragging.

England scored a goal early, and the stadium packed with Brit supporters were besides themselves with themselves. The USA had its supporters who remained hopeful. The USA team kept mighty England, with her famous high-priced stars, from scoring another goal. And then came the 40th minute in the game and the miracle goal. Well, it was for New Orleans! To the embarrassment of all England, USA got a tie, and in all honest ways, it was a loss for England. England left the field dragging her ass. It was a good day for the USA.